Reasons she dumped you

Suddenly single and don't know what hit you? Here are some reasons why she may have applied the brakes on your relationship

If you've been in a relationship that has coasted along just fine until it suddenly hits a snag, it can be a rather disorienting experience. She may say "It's not you, it's me", but chances are it really was you.

No one pulls the plug on a great partnership for flimsy reasons. If you're lucky and can handle the truth, you will get the undiluted version of why she thinks it's not going to work out. But nobody likes to be the bearer of bad news and it's just easier to let a man down with a diplomatic line. Her job is done and her hands are clean, but you're left with only your battered ego for company.


She felt suffocated

You think you're always right and want to have your way most of the times. But you pushed your luck in the relationship when this habit encroached on her personal space. Like you, she enjoys attention from the opposite sex, having a girls' night out every once in a while on a weekend and doing things that make her feel good about herself such as dancing, singing or playing the guitar. If you often picked up a fight with her for hanging out with her male colleagues, or told her not to wear certain outfits that you deemed as revealing, then you dug your own grave. You restricted her freedom and led her to think of you as a lesser man.

You were clingy

You didn't have a life of your own. You cut off your close friends so that you could spend all your time with her. You called her at work every now and then to check if she is fine. Your emails and texts were over-the-top and mushy. You didn't complain, you didn't argue and you didn't take the initiative when it came to planning an outing. Instead of being an interesting and challenging guy, you were baggage. A little mystery and self-control is always good if you want to hold on to your girl.

You want a counsellor

Every woman wants to be loved and nurtured. However, you were looking for a confidante and a shoulder to cry on. You poured your heart out about all your life problems, hoping that she would have all the answers. You made her feel like she was your mother. And this changed her perception of you from a man to an immature child, who constantly needed someone to wipe his tears and hold his hand, which she obviously had not signed up for.

You have hygiene issues

You eat with your mouth open, your breath is less than minty fresh and you burp loudly in public. She never told you that but probably dropped a lot of hints which you failed to pick up.

If you took your girl for granted and thought it was okay to ignore personal hygiene, you shouldn't really be surprised by your relationship's premature demise, should you? Your socalled casual habits were the reason for her embarrassment lots of times. She just chose not to put up with your smelly armpits, flaky dandruff or unclean nether regions every time.

You were bad in bed

You came early, were selfish and never made an attempt to satisfy her. You thought that she was okay with that but she probably never told you so, just to spare your ego. Brush up your skills and learn to give equally in bed.

You have no confidence

Even without good looks, a confident man can win over some of the hottest women. If you are low on self-esteem because you have not been with many women so far in your dating career, are not earning enough or too shy to socialise with her friends, your woman will sense it instantly. It's a big turn off to be with a man who is not sure of himself. She is likely to think, how will you take care of her when you are unable to take care of yourself?

She was not that into you 

While the sex was great, you could never establish an emotional connect with her. You may not have had anything in common in terms of music, movies or food. Whether she never made an effort to understand you or you realised it later, you need to find someone who is into you. The foundation for a strong relationship is based on mutual respect and shared experiences. Maybe next time round, you might just get lucky.

Things women wish men understood

Women and men are as different as chalk and cheese. Men always find it difficult to understand women. Or so they proclaim. 
But believe us, we are not that difficult to understand. Just try to keep the communication channel open and see how things fall into their place. Here's a guide of some of the things women wish men automatically understood (and remember it's neither astro-physics nor micro-biology).

1. We know men are low in EQ (Emotional Quotient) but make an effort to understand emotions. But remember we don't like men who can't control their emotions. Cry babies (oops men) are not what we are exactly looking at in life..

2. When we talk, pay attention to what we are saying. Don't just nod your head and continue watching television.

3. Your mother might be great in the kitchen and can whip up gourmet dishes in no time. But sorry we can't go on listening to your running commentary on her remarkable culinary skills.

4. We believe in the power of communication. So, talk, fight but don't just go into 'silent' mode. Leave that mode to your mobile phones.

5 All of us love a dash of chivalry in our partners. So be courteous and show us that you are well brought-up.

6 Don't brag. Showing off really acts against you. Be subtle about your fat pay packet, your swanky car and the like. That shows your class.

7. Don't think that you own us. So, behave accordingly. Like men folk, we also like our own space.

8. Romance comes naturally to us. We love it when a man expresses his love. So, please show us that you love. Say it through flowers, dinners, gifts and of course count surprises as an important element of our DNA. Understand these basic points and act accordingly

9. Don't try to give us lessons on moral science. And for heaven's sake don't comment on a low-neckline dress. That's a very cheap thing to do.

10. Don't crack jokes on our family members, close friends. Show your great sense of humour with a touch of sensibility.. 

For questions specific to your health conditions, please write down in the comments section and we will answer it as soon as possible. Thanks

Second marriage is better than the first

If your first marriage did not work out, you don't have to worry, because there are few reasons why second marriage can be better than the first one.

You get older at the time of second marriage and thus, you get wiser as well. You are more verbal to your second life partner and you know what you want from your life.

Kids from the first marriage can be a disadvantage as well. You have to baby-sit them at odd hours and have to plan your bedroom sessions accordingly.

However, if you are tying the knot again, you and your new spouse will have more understanding with the kids and you can always plan weekends alone, the Huffington Postreported.

Arguments are something at which you will gain hand-on experience till the time you walk down the aisle second time.

You will know what to speak and how to speak with respect honoring the other person's point of view.

Second marriage is also an opportunity to right past wrongs. You will have so much to learn from your last marriage, undoubtedly. You won't repeat the same mistakes again.

Second marriage will also allow you to be more emotionally close with your spouse. You will realize that you have someone really close you can always look up to.

About Men: Everything you want to know

We give you a small ready reckoner on how men behave in relationships...

Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive.

It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.

A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.

When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do.

Guys have strong passion to change.

Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.

When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll see that he is nervous.

When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just saying, "Please come and listen to me"

When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen.

If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something. (He generally has a lot of frustration in mind then)

Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.

Guys like femininity not feebleness.

A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him. (So girls you should think of making the first move)

A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.

Guys love girls who can cook.

Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

A guy's friend knows everything about him.

Avoid dating these guys

An expert has advised women to scrutinise the men they choose to date — to avoid ending up in a bad relationship. Some men may seem perfect on the first few dates, but it does not take long for them to change from a prince to a frog. Hence, it's important to look out for the warning signs.

The set-in-his-ways guy
Dating someone who refuses to do anything new will lead to a relationship that is both boring and one-sided. Stop thinking that he will eventually change and open up to your hobbies. These men will only become more rigid over time.

The pick-up-after-me guy
These are men who expect you to clean their dishes, pick up their clothes and take care of them as if they are little children. Beware of these men because they may behave as if you are their mother for the rest of their — and your — lives.

The always-looking-for-a-deal guy 
They are the ones who constantly look for deals and comment on prices early on in the dating process. These are signs that he will be very stingy throughout the duration of the relationship.

I-need-to-watch-sports-all-the-time guy
Many guys like watching sports, but this should never trump the responsibilities of a relationship or take precedence over family obligations. Women are advised to avoid a man who has a childish obsession with sports.

What's-for-dinner guy
These men expect a home-cooked meal every single night. Don't end up being a maid to such men.

The I-had-sex-and-now-I-don't-have-to-try-anymore guy
Men who back away and start getting lazier after having sex for the first time were probably only after one thing to begin with.

The I-will-let-you-pay-for-some-of-my-bills guy
If a guy asks for help while paying bills early on in a relationship, it is a warning sign that you should avoid a relationship with this person. By paying for him early on, you are accepting that it will be this way in the future.

The over-controlling guy
This guy makes a check on 'his woman' every second of the day and inquires about who she is hanging out with.

The I-don't-know-what-I'm-looking-for guy
He is a confused person. One day, he wants a relationship. The next day, he wants kids. Two months later, he's not sure about either. This type of man may ditch you anytime.

Have an abusive boyfriend? This app will help

WASHINGTON: Here's a tool that could help avoid dating violence or abusive relationships. Scientists have developed a smartphone app that warns young women of a dangerous partner by helping them examine their relationships and potential behavioural red flags. 

In an effort to arm young women with safety information, researchers developed the 'One Love My Plan' app, an interactive tool that helps collegeage women in abusive relationships clarify their priorities and customize personal safety plans. "Women between the ages of 18 and 24 are at the highest risk for dating violence. However, these women are less likely than older adults to seek formal safety resources and instead look to peers or technology for help and advice," the app's developers said. 

"At some point, almost everyone knows someone in an unhealthy relationship," said Tina Bloom, an assistant professor at the University of Missouri's Sinclair School of Nursing. "The purpose of the My Plan app is to quickly and confidentially provide women and concerned friends with information and available resources. Our goal is not to replace existing services, but to better connect students with them," said Bloom. 

To ensure that young women would find the app helpful, Bloom and her colleagues conducted focus groups with college-age women who identified themselves as survivors of abusive relationships. 

"The My plan app gives students tools to examine their relationships, set priorities and access resources when they are ready," said Bloom. She added that the app has features such as information on healthy relationship dynamics, relationship violence myths and behavioural red flags.