Reasons she dumped you

Suddenly single and don't know what hit you? Here are some reasons why she may have applied the brakes on your relationship

If you've been in a relationship that has coasted along just fine until it suddenly hits a snag, it can be a rather disorienting experience. She may say "It's not you, it's me", but chances are it really was you.

No one pulls the plug on a great partnership for flimsy reasons. If you're lucky and can handle the truth, you will get the undiluted version of why she thinks it's not going to work out. But nobody likes to be the bearer of bad news and it's just easier to let a man down with a diplomatic line. Her job is done and her hands are clean, but you're left with only your battered ego for company.


She felt suffocated

You think you're always right and want to have your way most of the times. But you pushed your luck in the relationship when this habit encroached on her personal space. Like you, she enjoys attention from the opposite sex, having a girls' night out every once in a while on a weekend and doing things that make her feel good about herself such as dancing, singing or playing the guitar. If you often picked up a fight with her for hanging out with her male colleagues, or told her not to wear certain outfits that you deemed as revealing, then you dug your own grave. You restricted her freedom and led her to think of you as a lesser man.

You were clingy

You didn't have a life of your own. You cut off your close friends so that you could spend all your time with her. You called her at work every now and then to check if she is fine. Your emails and texts were over-the-top and mushy. You didn't complain, you didn't argue and you didn't take the initiative when it came to planning an outing. Instead of being an interesting and challenging guy, you were baggage. A little mystery and self-control is always good if you want to hold on to your girl.

You want a counsellor

Every woman wants to be loved and nurtured. However, you were looking for a confidante and a shoulder to cry on. You poured your heart out about all your life problems, hoping that she would have all the answers. You made her feel like she was your mother. And this changed her perception of you from a man to an immature child, who constantly needed someone to wipe his tears and hold his hand, which she obviously had not signed up for.

You have hygiene issues

You eat with your mouth open, your breath is less than minty fresh and you burp loudly in public. She never told you that but probably dropped a lot of hints which you failed to pick up.

If you took your girl for granted and thought it was okay to ignore personal hygiene, you shouldn't really be surprised by your relationship's premature demise, should you? Your socalled casual habits were the reason for her embarrassment lots of times. She just chose not to put up with your smelly armpits, flaky dandruff or unclean nether regions every time.

You were bad in bed

You came early, were selfish and never made an attempt to satisfy her. You thought that she was okay with that but she probably never told you so, just to spare your ego. Brush up your skills and learn to give equally in bed.

You have no confidence

Even without good looks, a confident man can win over some of the hottest women. If you are low on self-esteem because you have not been with many women so far in your dating career, are not earning enough or too shy to socialise with her friends, your woman will sense it instantly. It's a big turn off to be with a man who is not sure of himself. She is likely to think, how will you take care of her when you are unable to take care of yourself?

She was not that into you 

While the sex was great, you could never establish an emotional connect with her. You may not have had anything in common in terms of music, movies or food. Whether she never made an effort to understand you or you realised it later, you need to find someone who is into you. The foundation for a strong relationship is based on mutual respect and shared experiences. Maybe next time round, you might just get lucky.

Skin Ageing: Factors that cause it

Here are a few factors that will cause your skin to age premature and make you look older:

-Apart from your increasing your weight, sugar is also responsible for boosting ageing. When your blood sugar is high, it causes a process called glycation which harms elastin and collagen in our skin. This leads to the wrinkling of the skin.

-Did you know, excessive exercising, especially running is known to cause the skin to sag? Known as runner's face, it is caused by the breakdown of collagen. So keep your morning runs short.

-Excessive alcohol leads to dehydration and also lowers the salt content in the body, which is known to be bad for the skin.

-If you have an erratic lifestyle and are not getting enough sleep, this is another reason that will make you look older than your years. Lack of sleep causes dark circles and the skin on your face to look sallow. It makes the skin weak and susceptible, thus making it age faster.

-In winter, the cold dry air saps all the moisture from the skin, making it prone to fine lines and wrinkles. To combat this, apply a moisturiser as soon as you are out of the hot shower.

6 Signs she is cheating on you

Sometimes suspicion and mistrust can ruin your relationship with your girlfriend. But if the matter is serious and the nagging suspicion is impossible to ignore, here are few steps to figure out if your fears are real: 

1. If she turns secretive and tries to guard her conversations on the phone, leaves the room everytime she gets a call on her cell

2. If you call or text her first all the time and she doesn't bother to do so then that is a bad sign 

3. If she starts picking fights too often 

4. If you catch her lying, it is often a cause for concern giving signal of infidelity

5. If you find a change in the behaviour of close common friends then it is possible that they know something that you don't. Perhaps you are the last to know

6. If your girlfriend suddenly starts worrying a little more about her appearance - new clothes, make-up...she may be trying to look good for someone else. If she gets dressed up for you, that's one thing but if they seem to spend a little more time looking good to go out without you, then that might be a cause to worry.

Is Your Girl Virgin and Is Virginity a must for happy marriage? Find out

From time immemorial a woman's virginity has been her prized possession. Throughout history one will read about cultures across the world placing a high value on a a woman's virginity. But times are changing and for an increasing number of young men and women, sex is no longer the kind of taboo that it earlier used to be. And much to our older generation's charging, pre-marital sex is a definite reality of our times. 

In fact, these days, couples who are in a relationship have no qualms about getting sexually intimate with each other even though there may be no guarantee that the relationship will culminate into marriage. However, when it does come to the question of marriage, especially in the case of arranged marriages, a woman with a sexually active history still raises eyebrows and sets tongues wagging. What then is the big deal about virginity and how does this kind of a mentality hamper the lives of numerous women? 

According to Dr Vatsa, gynaecologist and sex counsellor, this kind of mentality is largely because our traditional values are still strongly embedded in us. "One of the most common questions I get, till date, is 'How do I know that my bride or girlfriend is a virgin?' The only answer that I have to such questions is that there is no way to know," says Dr Vatsa. According to him, it's just the man's and his family's inflated ego that results in such unrealistic demands. How then, does our traditional culture not hamper couples from engaging in pre-marital sex? "Once a couple is engaged, it's like a license for marriage so they feel they can do anything," he opines. 

"It's actually not such a big deal. However, I still get men who complain to me saying that the wife did not bleed on the first night and hence, they suspect that she's not a virgin. The truth is that the presence of the hymen which ruptures (resulting in the bleeding) is not a sure shot sign of virginity. Some women are born without it, there there are those for whom it is so elastic that it never ruptures while for some it is so fragile that a slightly intense activity may have ruptured it without them even realising it. It is just not possible to access whether a girl is a virgin or not by just examining her except if she's been through a pregnancy or if she admits to having sexual intercourse," says sexologist Dr Tony. 

He goes on to add that in a relationship, if a couple is to make it work successfully, it is more important for the couple to worry about virtues like trust and honesty. "If a woman admits to a sexually active past, it shouldn't be held against her. The very fact that she's even admitting it, even though she could have very well hidden it, means that she is honest and that's all that should matter," he says. 

An intact hymen is not a sure sign of virginity. 

A woman's hymen can be ruptured by non-sexual activities like intense sports, dancing, sitting astride on two wheelers, etc. 

It is not necessary for a virgin to bleed the first time she has sex. In fact, is one goes by the statistics, only 42 per cent of women do so. 

With the current advances in medical technology, a plastic surgeon can quite easily reconstruct a layer of tissue to resemble the hymen (the procedure is called Hymenoplasty). 

Remember, virginity and chastity are not the only measures to base a happy marriage on, honesty and trust are far more important traits that both partners should possess. 

Alarm signs that spell cancer

If you've been experiencing more than one of these symptoms regularly, get yourself checked

They are common symptoms and can be passed off as your body getting to grips with every day tiredness. But experts warn that if you notice any other major changes in the way your body functions or feels, you should see a doctor, especially if the changes persist or get worse. It may not be cancer, but any major change in your body is cause for concern.

Unexplained weight loss 
If you are losing weight because you are dieting or exercising, that's fine. But if you find yourself losing weight with no change in your lifestyle habits, this is an unexplained weight loss and it can be associated with several cancers including those of the pancreas and stomach.

Fever 
A persistent fever may be an early sign of blood cancers like lymphoma or leukaemia. If you experience persistent fever, you should see a doctor. Even if it's not cancer, it must be treated seriously.

Pain 
Although pain can have many causes, persistent headaches can be an early sign of brain cancer and back pain can be a sign of rectal or ovarian cancer. If you start experiencing persistent pain, talk to your GP.

A nagging cough 
If you notice a cough or hoarseness that just won't go away, it could be a sign of lung or larynx cancer. It is more likely that you are experiencing seasonal allergies, but run tests to be sure.

Lumps in the body 
If you find lumps in your skin, go see a dermat. Be especially wary of lumps in the breast, testicles, or near lymph nodes. Don't freak out if you find lumps on your arms, legs, or other parts of the body though. They might just be harmless sebaceous cysts.

Unusual bleeding 
Abnormal bleeding is one of many signs of cancer. Coughing up blood can mean lung cancer, blood in the stool can mean colon or rectal cancer, blood in urine can mean bladder cancer, persistent vaginal bleeding could point to cervical cancer, and blood discharge from the nipple can mean breast cancer.

Changes in bladder function 
If you're experience pain when urinating, blood in your urine, or other changes, such as needing to go more or less often, these could be symptoms of bladder or prostate cancer. Besides, if you observe a long-term change in your bowel function, like persistent diarrhoea or constipation, it may be a symptom of colon cancer. Catching it early with a colonoscopy could save your life.

Sores that never heal
If you have a persistent sore or sores that don't seem to heal, you should get them checked out by a doctor right away. Sores inside the mouth can be signs of an oral cancer.

Changes on your skin 
If you notice any changes on a wart or mole on your body, or any other changes on your skin, this could be a sign of melanoma, also known as skin cancer. See a dermatologist right away. It can be treated easily if it's detected early.

Fatigue 
Constant fatigue that does not get better with rest can be a sign of cancer. This is a tricky one because a lot of people feel fatigue for completely different reasons. But if you start feeling tired all the time you should get yourself checked.