Is Your Girl Virgin and Is Virginity a must for happy marriage? Find out

From time immemorial a woman's virginity has been her prized possession. Throughout history one will read about cultures across the world placing a high value on a a woman's virginity. But times are changing and for an increasing number of young men and women, sex is no longer the kind of taboo that it earlier used to be. And much to our older generation's charging, pre-marital sex is a definite reality of our times. 

In fact, these days, couples who are in a relationship have no qualms about getting sexually intimate with each other even though there may be no guarantee that the relationship will culminate into marriage. However, when it does come to the question of marriage, especially in the case of arranged marriages, a woman with a sexually active history still raises eyebrows and sets tongues wagging. What then is the big deal about virginity and how does this kind of a mentality hamper the lives of numerous women? 

According to Dr Vatsa, gynaecologist and sex counsellor, this kind of mentality is largely because our traditional values are still strongly embedded in us. "One of the most common questions I get, till date, is 'How do I know that my bride or girlfriend is a virgin?' The only answer that I have to such questions is that there is no way to know," says Dr Vatsa. According to him, it's just the man's and his family's inflated ego that results in such unrealistic demands. How then, does our traditional culture not hamper couples from engaging in pre-marital sex? "Once a couple is engaged, it's like a license for marriage so they feel they can do anything," he opines. 

"It's actually not such a big deal. However, I still get men who complain to me saying that the wife did not bleed on the first night and hence, they suspect that she's not a virgin. The truth is that the presence of the hymen which ruptures (resulting in the bleeding) is not a sure shot sign of virginity. Some women are born without it, there there are those for whom it is so elastic that it never ruptures while for some it is so fragile that a slightly intense activity may have ruptured it without them even realising it. It is just not possible to access whether a girl is a virgin or not by just examining her except if she's been through a pregnancy or if she admits to having sexual intercourse," says sexologist Dr Tony. 

He goes on to add that in a relationship, if a couple is to make it work successfully, it is more important for the couple to worry about virtues like trust and honesty. "If a woman admits to a sexually active past, it shouldn't be held against her. The very fact that she's even admitting it, even though she could have very well hidden it, means that she is honest and that's all that should matter," he says. 

An intact hymen is not a sure sign of virginity. 

A woman's hymen can be ruptured by non-sexual activities like intense sports, dancing, sitting astride on two wheelers, etc. 

It is not necessary for a virgin to bleed the first time she has sex. In fact, is one goes by the statistics, only 42 per cent of women do so. 

With the current advances in medical technology, a plastic surgeon can quite easily reconstruct a layer of tissue to resemble the hymen (the procedure is called Hymenoplasty). 

Remember, virginity and chastity are not the only measures to base a happy marriage on, honesty and trust are far more important traits that both partners should possess. 

Lose those extra pounds just in 10 days

Follow these easy-to-do tips and get rid of your tummy in 10 days...

Courtesy our party-hopping and binge-eating sprees in the last couple of months, thanks to the festive season, almost all of us are battling that unwanted bulge. In fact, fitting into our old dresses and slim-fit jeans is almost like a challenge. But worry not. Here are some simple tips, which, if followed properly, could help you get rid of your paunch in flat 10 days.

Drink lots of water
Water is essential for our system, as around 70% of our body constitutes water. However, too much of anything does not work. So, have around 2.5 to 3.5 litres of water every day. And make sure you avoid drinking cold water. Normal or lukewarm water will help you stay slimmer. Water flushes out toxins and hydrates the system. If you don't like water, sip on herbal and green tea. Sports nutritionists, advocate going the anti-oxidant way with this. "This is a delicious way to include anti-oxidants in your diet. It can work wonders for your immune and digestive system."

Cut down on carbs
Many believe that going on a zero-carbs diet will help in a miraculous way. While one should cut down on it for quick results, the no-carbs way is a strict no-no. Kim Mai, clinical nutritionist, explains, "Carbs are our energy givers and should contribute 65-70% of the total calorie intake in a day. One can only improve stamina if one includes carbs in every meal, every day! Weight loss will also follow suit when the body is fuelled optimally to be able to burn fat."

Increase protein intake
Have baked chicken or fish with steamed vegetables for lunch and dinner. Skimmed milk and milk products work too. Having a protein-rich diet makes you feel full for longer. Make sure you include egg whites in your breakfast. Have small portions and ensure that you have at least five to six meals.

Stay away from fad diets
Crash diets can be extremely harmful, so stay away from them completely. Dr Smita Naram, Ayurvedic physician, says, "A diet with a combination of 30% protein, 60% vegetables and 10% carbohydrates is most beneficial for reducing weight." Eating regular food every two-three hours (don't go for snacking in between) is great when it comes to losing weight.

Eat slowly
Eat slowly and stop eating when you are about 70 to 80% full. Do not overeat. Eating fast and gulping down food results eating much more than our body needs.

Walk, and then walk some more
Go for a 45-minute brisk walk in the morning or evening. Wear clothes that are not too tight and comfortable shoes that are meant for walking. Start with a 30-minute walk and extend it to 45 minutes or one hour. Do this for 10 days without fail.

Crunches can save your day
Don't have time for the gym? Just do some warm-up exercises and then target your paunch — do crunches (See box). Do this everyday — twice a day if possible. (After all, you want to lose that paunch in 10 days, don't you?) Throughout the day, whether you are sitting or walking around, make sure that you pull in your stomach and keep your back straight.

Take up a de-stressing activity
Stress and depression can lead to a lot of unwarranted emotional eating. So, de-stress. Take up a favourite activity — do some meditation, read a book, watch some romantic comedies, play with your dog or take up a yoga or dance class.

Stay away from temptation
Every time you almost give up and reach for a chocolate bar, remind yourself what you really want — looking hot in a sexy LBD or being flabby and fat and hiding inside a loose ill-fitted outfit. And behave accordingly.

Basic crunches
Lie down on your exercise mat. Bend your knees and keep it parallel to the floor. Now put your hands behind your head and exhale and lift up your shoulder blades off the floor while you contract your stomach and reach for your knees.

Get more out of crunches
Do bicycle crunches. Paddle each of your legs in the air while you do the crunches.

Ban the following completely for the next 10 days:
- Red meat
- Sweets
- Canned foods
- Junk foods like burger, pizza, pasta etc
- Cold aerated drinks
- Canned juices (even the ones that say 'healthy' on the pack)
- All kinds of outside food
- Avoid over-eating

10 first-time experiences for newlyweds

Transition to married life is filled with many milestone "firsts," which strengthen the relationship with a spouse.

The Huffington Post has compiled a list of things that happen for the first time after a marriage:

The first ever fight between a couple is a lot more different and is a lot more charged, the Huffington Post reported.

Secondly, getting together with friends after the wedding is a little strange as some of them may feel that their married-by-30-clock is ticking, or become bitter that the newlyweds have "the perfect life."

Another first that a newlywed has is their first major purchase together.

The in-laws' problem is another first for the newlyweds as a husband is used to his family's flaws: He's learned how to tune out Mom's criticisms, Dad's elitisms, his sister's jealousy. And he just wants his wife to let their comments roll off their back too.

The first time a couple is asked when they are having a baby also makes the list.

It is also a must-do for many newlyweds to host a dinner party.

Another first is when a husband is approached by the first "flirty girl."

Then comes the part when the couple establish their first tradition together while honouring established rituals that were passed down from both of your families.

The married holiday together is one more first.

And lastly, the time you get scared of losing your loving spouse.

6 daily habits we need to quickly change

Six seemingly healthy daily rituals that you need to change

The commercials sold you to the hand sanitiser and the bottled water. But are they really good for you? Experts argue not. Turns out several of the habits we have cultivated over the years, from being wary of germs to brushing teeth after every meal are not only unnecessary but could actually rob us of good health in the long term. Read on to find out how.

Brushing after meals
Obsessed with your pearly whites, you have taken to brushing your teeth after every meal. But your mommy told you only to brush your teeth twice a day — before breakfast and before bedtime. Turns out she was right.

Dental experts say that rushing to the bathroom immediately after a meal is not good for your teeth. The breakdown of food in the mouth leaves an acidic residue which weakens the enamel the protective layer on the teeth. Brushing the teeth when the enamel is weak, can strip the enamel permanently, causing tooth sensitivity.

Instead: It's a good idea to wait for at least an hour after the meal before reaching out for the toothbrush. If you must dislodge food particles that remain after eating, rinse your mouth with water.

Using the hand sanitiser 
Do you have a habit of reaching out for the hand sanitiser each time you touch the handle on the train, especially after the last person to hold it was a noticeably sweaty commuter? You might be doing yourself more harm than good.

While hand sanitisers are a convenient method of cleaning hands and getting rid of germs, it's important to use them properly. According to a research conducted by University of California Davis, US, most hand sanitisers contain a chemical called triclosan which gets absorbed easily by the skin. As it enters the blood stream, it disrupts cell communication necessary for muscle coordination. Long term use can leave the skin dry and cause problems such as infertility, early puberty and poor heart function.

Instead: When possible, use the time-tested method of washing your hands with soap and water.

Ditching weights for cardio 
Nothing is as good as a run or swim in the morning. Especially if compared to lifting weights at the gym. While this could work if your aim is just to stay fit, if you plan on losing weight, you need to stop being exclusive with the cardio.

The body gets accustomed to the same type of exercise and stops burning calories. Celebrity trainer Satyajit Chaurasia says including some weight training along with cardio is the fastest way to lose weight and gain muscle mass alongside. "Alternating between cardio and strength training keeps the heart rate up while also giving the whole body a workout. It keeps the body in shock and doesn't let it get used to a particular type of routine, where burning calories becomes stagnant."

Instead: If you are an outdoors person and don't like to join a gym, Chaurasia suggest that you find a bench and a pair of dumbbells. "For beginners, these will be enough to work your upper body," he says.

Changing your cosmetics 
The luxe cosmetic brand just announced a new product and you have already bought the new bottle of cream, ditching it for the tube you just bought last month. While pumping money into a new skin-care product is bad for your wallet, it also does great harm to your skin.

Dermatologist Dr Derek  says, "The human skin has a pH (potential Hydrogen) level of 5.5. Cosmetic makers differ from each other on the pH value of their products. When people, who have sensitive skin, experiment with products of varied pH values, it may result in red, patchy or inflamed skin. For instance, most soaps have a pH value higher than 5.5 and are alkaline (harsh for the skin)."

Changing cosmetics once every few weeks can damage your skin leaving it ridden with rash, pimples or acne. And no, reaching for another product won't help.

Instead: Derek recommends going only for trusted brands, and always reading the pH value mentioned at the back of the product.

Wearing flip flops
You are afraid that heels will kill your knees and ankles, and think flats are the way to go, especially in Mumbai where the weather permits it. Right? You couldn't be more wrong.

Podiatrist and mobility consultant Gabriel says flip flops are not good as they do not provide any arch or structural support to the feet. "While walking, the toes have to constantly grip the slippers to control and balance them from slipping out. This alters the natural foot lift-off and landing and could lead to problems such as plantar fasciitis — inflammation of the thick tissue on the bottom of the foot," he says.

Instead: It is a good idea to wear flip flops at home, but ditch them when stepping out.

Drinking only bottled water 
Bottled water is processed water and has been stripped off minerals. In tropical climates such as Mumbai, it serves the purpose of hydration. But in the long run, it can leave your body lacking in essential minerals such as magnesium, calcium, potassium, silica and sulphate. These minerals perform various functions in the body such as energy production and cell and muscle repair.

Instead: Fill your glass with water purified by a filtration system or carry a bottle from home.